At a recent family dinner, I had a conversation with my mom about parenting during the teen years. Talking about parenting strategies is always interesting, since different people may surprise you by their thoughts on the subject depending on their own experience. But it's ESPECIALLY interesting to have this chat with one of your parents as an adult. THEN, to take it one step further...it's pretty fascinating to engage in this conversation with a parent once you are all grown up, but before you have kids of your own. I am old enough (32) and have had enough distance from my teen years now to pinpoint where I think my parents may be gone wrong in parenting situations. But of course, to their defense, I'm not yet in a position to judge, since I have never had to play the role of parent myself.
Anyway, the collective dinner group, which included two of my cousins and my brother's girlfriend, starting talking to my mom about some of the more harmless, silly things we had done in our formative years. I contributed to the conversation, but refrained from revealing too many juicy details about my teenage exploits. I only reveal this sort of info on a "need to know basis," especially the really stupid stuff that could have potentially gotten me hurt. My mom -- being the only parent at a table full of 20 and 30-something women, all childless -- started to vent. She said that on the one hand, as a parent of a teen you know you need to give your kids room to grow, learn, make their own mistakes and experience real world situations that will hopefully help make them sensible adults some day. But where you run into conflict is that you also want to protect your kids; which means that part of you never wants to let them out of the house!
From the adult child's standpoint, talking about the teen years is a delicate balance. I have told my mother a lot of the stupid things I did as a teen, but I have also kept a lot of experiences to myself, even all these years later. Why worry her so long after the fact, especially if it will only serve to make me look like I had poor judgment? So...here's my question for you – have you told your parents all the idiotic, dangerous stuff you did as a teen, or do you keep your young indiscretions to yourself?
1. Solemn article. It make me lost in thoughts.
Jennifer at 7:08AM on Mar 24th 2007