Well, I finally caved. For years my kids have been asking for a dog and for years I have said that I just don't think I have the time or energy to commit to taking responsibility for one more thing. But recently my boyfriend convinced me that having a dog would help the kids learn about repsonsibility and also appreciate animals, so we started
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Exercise and Musical Distraction
Zoiks! I just sw this story Do iPods and TV Hurt Exercise Benefits? . Listening to my iPod is one of the GOALS of my exercise routine. I can't imagine doing without it, just to get a better workout!
My Budget Deficit
Well, I resolved to get my finances in order. It's been a process fraught with anxiety. Back when I was married, I kept a close tab on the cash flow, always worried about going into debt. When I got divorced, and found myself (happily) with full custody of my 2-year-old and 5-year-old children, with (unhappily) no child support or alimony payments due to me.
I took the hit to my finances philosophically, figuring I was a good saver and a good earner, and that for a few years I would just have to close my eyes and hold my breath and probably go into debt in order to keep my children housed, clothed and cared for.
Well, it's been almost three years and it's time to take my head out of the sand. I've met with the financial advisor once to review my situation, and next week I will go again to get some recommendations. But yesterday I received a call from the numbers man at the advisor's office... He had a number of questions, but the one that really struck me was, "I don't think this is right... I'm going over your expenses and it looks like you are operating at a deficit of around $1500/month."
Sigh. I had to call back and tell him that sounded right.
More on Dysfunction at Work
My boyfriend's first response is to shoot off an emotional email stating his case. I have always felt like it is important to keep your distance at work, that these things are rarely personal. He believes it's important to vent your emotions, regardless. Yikes!
Motherhood's a Real Doozy, Isn't It?
I just received this email from a friend of mine who is preparing to leave for her brother's wedding in India. She will be leaving her husband and three young daughters at home. Before having children, she was a real adventuress -- with stints in Budapest, Mongolia, China, and I can't even remember where else. Check out her email:
"yes, i'm going alone, which has been a surprising source of anxiety for me.
i've put off packing until right now (i'm procrastinating, as you can see)
and have been so edgy the past few days. steve of course is perfectly
capable of parenting and taking care of himself, and i know the trip itself
will be great -- it's not those things. i'm just SO agitated about leaving
steve and the girls. boo hoo. it certainly doesn't gel with my self-image
of being a spontaneous, intrepid traveller...."
i've put off packing until right now (i'm procrastinating, as you can see)
and have been so edgy the past few days. steve of course is perfectly
capable of parenting and taking care of himself, and i know the trip itself
will be great -- it's not those things. i'm just SO agitated about leaving
steve and the girls. boo hoo. it certainly doesn't gel with my self-image
of being a spontaneous, intrepid traveller...."
Feeling the Burn
When you exercise, what's your goal? Are you trying to burn calories? Build muscle? Something else? We've been having this debate at the office whether I am working out "too hard" for my goals (my heart rate is over 160). Thing is, I never really set a goal for exercising... I just started to do it because I knew it was good for me. Why do you exercise and how do you know you are on track to meet your goals?
The Fellini Family
Over the holidays, my boyfriend met my extended family for the first time. Not my brother and sister and parents and my closest cousins, who he has met several times before, but the whole extended family that comes out of the woodwork at holiday time. I was not really worried about it, because they're my family and they have also just been a part of my life. I've never judged them, though I guess on some level, I would spend more time with them if I really thought they were my kind of people (it's true that early in life I said to my mother -- I guess we have relatives so we know people we wouldn't ordinarily choose as friends). In any case, I was surprised (and, of course, insulted), when my boyfriend commented at one point, "I feel like I'm in a Fellini film." Yikes! Are families really that bad?
Dysfunction at Work!
Yesterday was a really rough day for my boyfriend at work. He's one of those people who is just incredibly passionate about his job, and has a strong sense of right and wrong, and a strong vision for how to improve his workplace. That said, he is not particularly ambitious personally... everything he strives for at work is for the benefit of his students (he works in a university). But he also has a big personality, and sometimes he can rub people the wrong way.
So things are not going well for him at work, and even though he could probably make more money doing something else with his skills, he loves the wonderful parts of his job. So I suggested that he seek out the support of a career coach. After all, I have seen our Coaches talking about dealing with toxic co-workers and working in a dysfunctional environment. I thought a coach could help him learn to communicate in a way that would be most effective in his particular situation, and help him to reach some of his goals.
Well, he completely poo-pooed the idea. He said he understands that I think coaching is helpful, but he's really not that kind of person. Have you ever had a situation where someone you care about just won't seek out help? Or have you had an experience where a coach helped you solve a specific workplace dilemma? Or didn't? I would love to hear form you.
