Life Coaches Central: Where Coaching Insiders Blog About Real Issues

Like many of you in the workforce, I'm constrained to a cubicle for the duration of my day. Getting out of the office and stretching my legs is absolutely necessary mid-day. So I grab lunch. What to do with the next 45 minutes? Not one to sit on my break, essentially taking a break from sitting, I usually stroll. But if you, like me, work in midtown-NYC or any other high traffic area in a big city, you may often find yourself wandering into stores and foolishly claim to do some 'harmless window shopping'...

Yea right. I've done more credit card damage in 30-minute time slots than teenager with access to daddy's Visa. Saks Fifth Avenue, Bergdorf Goodman, Sephora - (let me interrupt here to add a shameful anecdote. I get so happy when I walk into Sephora. Yes, a euphoric wave of happiness comes over me. All the colors! And endless perfumes to smell. And do you know you can get a free sample of ANYTHING? Smart little suckers, those people at Sephora. I've ended up buying the full-sized version of almost every "free" sample I've taken home. It's so bad that a sales lady there actually told me to just darn buy the perfume I had asked for a sample of, knowing my return would be inevitable. Oh the shame.) - All of these retailers within walking distance, teasing you with little pick-me-ups that guarantee, with no fail, to always make even my dullest days so much better.

But for every pick-me-up I acquire, there's a bit of pull-me-down going on, financially speaking. It's emotional spending gone rampant. I've actually rationalized buying one item in the next store I visited because I didn't buy a pricier item in the last. Does this even make sense? Somehow I convinced myself I was saving money, getting a 'deal'! And if I return something - which I often have to because of the foolishness mentioned above - something will catch my eye on the way out, or more commonly on the way in before I even make it to the return counter, and I've heard myself in head saying "Well, you're not really spending any more money..." Oh goodness gracious.

Does anyone else have this problem? Are they no other time-efficient shoppers out there? It might be time to consider hiding the plastic, before it melts from all the heavy-friction usage...

Despite so many advancements in the "working mother" arena, I still feel there's a bit of the mommy-wars going on. Stay at home moms and working moms continue to pour the guilt on each other for their choices.... I can't tell you how many times I've rushed to take my daughter to the park after working hours, harried and rushed, still in my work attire, just to get a few minutes of quality playtime in before dayfall. And every single time I get "those looks" from the other mothers. A single glance can say so much. Everything from "You can barely spend time with your child," to "You're a horrible mother, and you're missing out on the precious moments of your young baby's life" comes through in those few seconds.

My 'precious moments' are usually cut even shorter because of this. And I must say, I feel the pangs of mommy guilt everyday.

But the weirdest part about it is, I actually have my OWN snap judgments about stay-at-home moms. I sometimes catch myself thinking not-so-friendly thoughts about the mothers who have opted to focus on their domestic work rather than a career. It's part jealously, I admit. And I have to catch my self every time and I remind myself that I don't look down on them, but I do envy them. I wish I had more time with my daughter, and I'm sure I always will. But my work is important to me, too.

For the mothers out there who have to chosen to stay at home, or work from home, or work part-time - I applaud your decision. It's no easy feat to care for young ones, especially if you have more than one.

But for the mothers out there who thought to yourself six-weeks postpartum "I love my child, but I can't do the stay at home job full time! I can't wait to get back to work!" -- I understand. And, if you're like me and felt guilty about needing more than motherhood in your 8-hour workday life, I understand.

I just wish all of us mothers could be a little more understanding towards one another. As a mother, I have no doubt that each and every one of you, working mom or stay-at-home mom, love your child infinitely. There are pros and cons to both sides, and choosing between the two will never be easy. All we can do is respect one another's choices, and stop pouring on the guilt. Motherhood is hard enough as it is!