Despite so many advancements in the "working mother" arena, I still feel there's a bit of the mommy-wars going on. Stay at home moms and working moms continue to pour the guilt on each other for their choices.... I can't tell you how many times I've rushed to take my daughter to the park after working hours, harried and rushed, still in my work attire, just to get a few minutes of quality playtime in before dayfall. And every single time I get "those looks" from the other mothers. A single glance can say so much. Everything from "You can barely spend time with your child," to "You're a horrible mother, and you're missing out on the precious moments of your young baby's life" comes through in those few seconds.
My 'precious moments' are usually cut even shorter because of this. And I must say, I feel the pangs of
mommy guilt everyday.
But the weirdest part about it is, I actually have my OWN snap judgments about stay-at-home moms. I sometimes catch myself thinking not-so-friendly thoughts about the mothers who have opted to focus on their domestic work rather than a career. It's part jealously, I admit. And I have to catch my self every time and I remind myself that I don't look down on them, but I do envy them. I wish I had more time with my daughter, and I'm sure I always will. But my work is important to me, too.
For the mothers out there who have to chosen to stay at home, or work from home, or work part-time - I applaud your decision. It's no easy feat to care for young ones, especially if you have more than one.
But for the mothers out there who thought to yourself six-weeks postpartum "I love my child, but I can't do the stay at home job full time! I can't wait to get back to work!" -- I understand. And, if you're like me and felt guilty about needing more than motherhood in your 8-hour workday life, I understand.
I just wish all of us mothers could be a little more understanding towards one another. As a mother, I have no doubt that each and every one of you, working mom or stay-at-home mom, love your child infinitely. There are pros and cons to both sides, and choosing between the two will never be easy. All we can do is respect one another's choices, and stop pouring on the guilt. Motherhood is hard enough as it is!
