Life Coaches Central: Where Coaching Insiders Blog About Real Issues

You've heard it muttered in hushed undertones from a female friend at a party or over Sunday brunch, or in a confessional phone call, those dreaded, embarrassing words: "I faked it last night." It's depressing to hear, not just that a woman didn't achieve an orgasm, but also that she felt the need to fake one. A 2004 Sex Survey found that almost 50% of women responders had faked orgasms. Another startling statistic? Men who responded "always had orgasm" 74% of the time, compared with 30% of women. Not surprisingly the percentage of women who "greatly enjoy" sex was 59% compared with 83% of men.

Why the disparity? An interesting study on feminism and sexual pleasure found that women who identified as feminists who were dating men who identified as feminists (feminism being the belief that women and men should be treated equally) were more likely to achieve a higher level of sexual pleasure. It makes sense to me -- if you feel open and equal to someone, then you're more likely to work at getting equality in all aspects of your relationship. And the two of you will respect each other enough to work at ensuring equal love and affection while being intimate.

There is plenty of advice for achieving an orgasm , but in addition to reading up on good relationship and intimacy advice, being in a relationship where both partners have a goal of achieving orgasm equality is an important part of moving away from "faking an orgasm" and not "greatly" enjoying sex. Here's to you and your partner's next shared Big O!