Life Coaches Central: Where Coaching Insiders Blog About Real Issues

Personal Growth

Celebs Above the Law

Since when is it okay to ignore drinking and driving laws? Apparently when some drivers ignore their binge drinking and alcohol abuse, the law enforcement doesn't mind, and in fact, they ignore it too. Yes, yes, you've heard by now. I'm referring to Lindsey Lohan's two DUIs and 84 minutes of jail time. What was the point of the 84 minutes? They might as well condone celebrity drinking and driving!! Binge drinking and alcohol abuse are not health problems that should be overlooked or treated lightly. Driving when your perception is altered -- whether sleepy, or blinded by the sun, or piss drunk, puts you, your car and others on the road at risk. Asking someone to be a designated driver can be a pain, but when lives are at risk, it's worth the hassle. And there's always public transportation or a cab -- something celebs like Lindsay Lohan can certainly afford.

Healthy Holiday Eating - Yes, Dieting on Thanksgiving!

It can't be denied. Thanksgiving is looming ahead. And just like the rest of you, I too am searching for the perfect diet to keep me motivated to eat right through the holidays. But I'm feeling anxious, because I'm not going to be tempted by just one Thanksgiving meal -- but two. I'm going to have to battle with my food temptation demons during Thanksgiving Dinner with my friend's family on Thursday, and Thanksgiving Part 2 with my family on Friday. And eating Thanksgiving with my family always turns into a day-long fest of nibbling during preparations, eating snacks and appetizers before the meal is ready, then the meal itself. And of course, after the top button is unbuttoned, we dig into pies with whipped cream and ice cream.

In the time being, I'm trying to stick to my healthy eating and exercising. Today I had fiber-filled breakfast and a colorful salad with mushrooms, tomatoes, a little healthy fat from some avocado, and wonderfully delicious raspberries for dessert. It was a fully satisfying meal, and I didn't feel like I was over-eating or under-eating. Now if only I can do that for my two Thanksgiving meals. But I'm going to be realistic, and say that eating wholly healthy foods might not be an option. But I will strive to eat less, and to try and exercise -- yes even on vacation. I have no excuses. When I sleep in my family's basement I know the treadmill will be staring at me, willing me to stick to my healthy habits.

Best of luck to all you other health-conscious pie-lovers out there!

People Pleaser

Recently I've noticed that I've become a people pleaser- meaning it's hard for me to say no to my friends or family. What's the deal with that? Maybe it's a woman thing. I don't know why I always put other people's happiness before my own. I've learned that saying no, is one of the simple secrets of happiness. It's not that I don't like doing things for my friends and family but I just don't know where to draw the line sometimes and I find myself doing things I don't want to and then I regret it. Remembering that you are the only person in charge of your life is important- that's not to say you should be rude and inconsiderate of your friend's needs but its ok to say no sometimes if you really don't want to do something. I've found that saying no actually helps build your friendships up because you don't resent the person for making you do something you were totally against doing in the first place. What do you guys think? Are you people pleasers too? Is it hard for you to say no to your friend or your family?

Lack of Sleep

On average, American's sleep less than seven hours a night. I think it's even less if you're a college student. You've heard it before-- college student up all night, studying late, gets no sleep. That is the story of my life. I usually get home at around 7 from school or work and wind up spending the rest of my night doing homework. For the most part I'm up till around 1 a.m. I try to get at least 7 hours of sleep a night because without that much I can't function the next day. But sometimes I get less than 7 hours and not only do I suffer from it, but the people around me do as well because lack of sleep makes me grumpy.

Freaking Out About Going Gray

I think I was 8 or 9 when I realized my mom died her hair. I thought it was an awfully gross process. She got into this huge brown- streaked shirt (from years of dyeing) and the whole floor smelled like icky chemicals. So being the precocious young kid that I was I said something snotty like, "I'm never going to do that when I grow up. I don't care if I get gray hair."

Career Motivation: Finding Inspiration from Others

Last week must have been my lucky week, or something. How often do you get to say you saw a presidential candidate (Barack Obama), a venerable rockstar (Bruce Springsteen), a songwriting global activist (Bono), a stand up comic (Chris Rock), a passionate pianist (Alicia Keys), the current IT songstress (Shakira) and a former U.S. President (Bill Clinton) – all within the span of three days?

I know, let me say it again, last week was my lucky week.

Though I may get a little star struck at times, one of the real reasons I felt so lucky to have seen these household names is because I got to observe each of them at a moment of pure passion for their career and for their life's work.



Mommy guilting each other has to stop!

Despite so many advancements in the "working mother" arena, I still feel there's a bit of the mommy-wars going on. Stay at home moms and working moms continue to pour the guilt on each other for their choices.... I can't tell you how many times I've rushed to take my daughter to the park after working hours, harried and rushed, still in my work attire, just to get a few minutes of quality playtime in before dayfall. And every single time I get "those looks" from the other mothers. A single glance can say so much. Everything from "You can barely spend time with your child," to "You're a horrible mother, and you're missing out on the precious moments of your young baby's life" comes through in those few seconds.

My 'precious moments' are usually cut even shorter because of this. And I must say, I feel the pangs of mommy guilt everyday.

But the weirdest part about it is, I actually have my OWN snap judgments about stay-at-home moms. I sometimes catch myself thinking not-so-friendly thoughts about the mothers who have opted to focus on their domestic work rather than a career. It's part jealously, I admit. And I have to catch my self every time and I remind myself that I don't look down on them, but I do envy them. I wish I had more time with my daughter, and I'm sure I always will. But my work is important to me, too.

For the mothers out there who have to chosen to stay at home, or work from home, or work part-time - I applaud your decision. It's no easy feat to care for young ones, especially if you have more than one.

But for the mothers out there who thought to yourself six-weeks postpartum "I love my child, but I can't do the stay at home job full time! I can't wait to get back to work!" -- I understand. And, if you're like me and felt guilty about needing more than motherhood in your 8-hour workday life, I understand.

I just wish all of us mothers could be a little more understanding towards one another. As a mother, I have no doubt that each and every one of you, working mom or stay-at-home mom, love your child infinitely. There are pros and cons to both sides, and choosing between the two will never be easy. All we can do is respect one another's choices, and stop pouring on the guilt. Motherhood is hard enough as it is!

Living In the Future..

Sometimes I think too much about my next step. No matter where I am or what I'm doing in the present I always think about the future, even the very near future like the what-will-happen-in-the-next-10-minutes-future. I'm not sure why I'm like this. It may be the fact that I've been a New Yorker for my entire life and we are just always pressed for time and on-the-go. We were bred to be anxious, on edge people who are ready to lunge out in dissatisfaction when something doesn't go our way or when someone slows up the pace of our foot traffic. I sometimes find myself calculating the most ridiculous of everyday procedures like, walking in different ways down the sidewalk to get to the train quicker. I've found that walking in the street; however dangerous it may be is one of the fastest ways to avoid slow walkers and get to the train quickly.

Cheapskate Environmentalist

I've always been a cheapskate and an environmentalist, and it was only a few years ago that I realized the two habits really go hand in hand. Being concerned about saving money has helped me to my part to save the environment and vice versa.

More on Dysfunction at Work

My boyfriend's first response is to shoot off an emotional email stating his case. I have always felt like it is important to keep your distance at work, that these things are rarely personal. He believes it's important to vent your emotions, regardless. Yikes!

Dysfunction at Work!

Yesterday was a really rough day for my boyfriend at work. He's one of those people who is just incredibly passionate about his job, and has a strong sense of right and wrong, and a strong vision for how to improve his workplace. That said, he is not particularly ambitious personally... everything he strives for at work is for the benefit of his students (he works in a university). But he also has a big personality, and sometimes he can rub people the wrong way.
So things are not going well for him at work, and even though he could probably make more money doing something else with his skills, he loves the wonderful parts of his job. So I suggested that he seek out the support of a career coach. After all, I have seen our Coaches talking about dealing with toxic co-workers and working in a dysfunctional environment. I thought a coach could help him learn to communicate in a way that would be most effective in his particular situation, and help him to reach some of his goals.
Well, he completely poo-pooed the idea. He said he understands that I think coaching is helpful, but he's really not that kind of person. Have you ever had a situation where someone you care about just won't seek out help? Or have you had an experience where a coach helped you solve a specific workplace dilemma? Or didn't? I would love to hear form you.




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