You've heard it muttered in hushed undertones from a female friend at a party or over Sunday brunch, or in a confessional phone call, those dreaded, embarrassing words: "I faked it last night." It's depressing to hear, not just that a woman didn't achieve an orgasm, but also that she felt the need to fake one. A 2004 Sex Survey found that almost 50% of women responders had faked orgasms. Another startling statistic? Men who responded "always had orgasm" 74% of the time, compared with 30% of women. Not surprisingly the percentage of women who "greatly enjoy" sex was 59% compared with 83% of men.
Why the disparity? An interesting study on feminism and sexual pleasure found that women who identified as feminists who were dating men who identified as feminists (feminism being the belief that women and men should be treated equally) were more likely to achieve a higher level of sexual pleasure. It makes sense to me -- if you feel open and equal to someone, then you're more likely to work at getting equality in all aspects of your relationship. And the two of you will respect each other enough to work at ensuring equal love and affection while being intimate.
There is plenty of advice for achieving an orgasm , but in addition to reading up on good relationship and intimacy advice, being in a relationship where both partners have a goal of achieving orgasm equality is an important part of moving away from "faking an orgasm" and not "greatly" enjoying sex. Here's to you and your partner's next shared Big O!
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Will There Ever Be Orgasm Equality?
Digital Snooping in a Relationship?
It's bad enough that we have strangers spamming and phishing in our email in-boxes, both of which are major time-wasters and money-drainers. Not just that, those pesky emails can lead to invasion of privacy and one wrong click or one wrong send later, and you could become a victim of identity theft.
Career Motivation: Finding Inspiration from Others
Last week must have been my lucky week, or something. How often do you get to say you saw a presidential candidate (Barack Obama), a venerable rockstar (Bruce Springsteen), a songwriting global activist (Bono), a stand up comic (Chris Rock), a passionate pianist (Alicia Keys), the current IT songstress (Shakira) and a former U.S. President (Bill Clinton) – all within the span of three days?
I know, let me say it again, last week was my lucky week.
Though I may get a little star struck at times, one of the real reasons I felt so lucky to have seen these household names is because I got to observe each of them at a moment of pure passion for their career and for their life's work.
Mommy guilting each other has to stop!
My 'precious moments' are usually cut even shorter because of this. And I must say, I feel the pangs of mommy guilt everyday.
But the weirdest part about it is, I actually have my OWN snap judgments about stay-at-home moms. I sometimes catch myself thinking not-so-friendly thoughts about the mothers who have opted to focus on their domestic work rather than a career. It's part jealously, I admit. And I have to catch my self every time and I remind myself that I don't look down on them, but I do envy them. I wish I had more time with my daughter, and I'm sure I always will. But my work is important to me, too.
For the mothers out there who have to chosen to stay at home, or work from home, or work part-time - I applaud your decision. It's no easy feat to care for young ones, especially if you have more than one.
But for the mothers out there who thought to yourself six-weeks postpartum "I love my child, but I can't do the stay at home job full time! I can't wait to get back to work!" -- I understand. And, if you're like me and felt guilty about needing more than motherhood in your 8-hour workday life, I understand.
I just wish all of us mothers could be a little more understanding towards one another. As a mother, I have no doubt that each and every one of you, working mom or stay-at-home mom, love your child infinitely. There are pros and cons to both sides, and choosing between the two will never be easy. All we can do is respect one another's choices, and stop pouring on the guilt. Motherhood is hard enough as it is!
Can you REALLY relate to your friends who are parents if you don't have kids?
Since I am in the ranks of the "30-somethings" now, many of my close friends are married and starting families. I seem to be in the minority –- 32, single, and childless. For the most part, I have been able to maintain close relationships with friends who are now parents. We still have lots in common and can find plenty to talk about besides the best diaper rash cream, or when to make the transition from bottle to sippy-cup. But then there are the times when the group I'm with is all parents...and me. And it's those times that I question whether or not I can truly relate to my "mommy" friends since I'm childless...and whether or not the mommies can truly relate to me.
Interfaith Relationships: Do Different Religions Make it Harder to Make it Work?
Over dinner with a friend the other night, the topic of religion and relationships came up. She started dating a new guy recently, and she stated that she was relieved that he was the same religion as she was. I thought that word was interesting..."relieved." When I asked her to explain what she meant, she said she felt that relationships are hard enough as it is; dating someone who has a similar religious and/or cultural background just tends to make things easier, since many of your values and traditions are already in line.