Prologue

We all know the moment. The man on the flying trapeze sheds his sweeping cape and glittering costume. High in the big top, he grabs the bar, lifts off the pedestal, and then swings -- one, two, three times. Craning our necks to the sky, we watch with our hearts in our throats, waiting for the big moment. Then it happens: He releases the bar. For three glorious seconds he's in midair, one bar fading behind him, the other floating forward.

Watching the trapeze artist soar through the air with the greatest of ease, we grasp that this is the most thrilling part of his act. This is where he defies gravity. This is where he flies. We understand that the moment between trapezes is a magical time, the time when anything can happen, the time when there is no past, no future, only the present. Though we may sense that this magical midair suspension is all part of the thrill, few of us ever permit ourselves to savor such sweet moments in our own lives. Most of us don't want to be in between -- and, in fact, do everything in our power to avoid those marvelous, pit-of-the-stomach, free-fall moments -- usually because we worry that we might fall, and fail. If anything, lots of us can think of few things worse than being caught in between jobs, careers, relationships, lives. It's terrifying. It's embarrassing. It's shameful. It's painful. It's not where we want to be.

Yet that's precisely the place where so many of us find ourselves at the dawn of the 21st century. We live in a time of unprecedented uncertainty and insecurity. Employees who once trusted their bosses feel betrayed. Entrepreneurs who once trusted their skills and imagination now experience crushing self-doubt. Families who trusted the stock market find their retirement and college funds decimated. And after September 11, everyone who trusted that the strength and power of the United States government could keep them safe has suffered a devastating blow. Security with a capital "S" seems to be a thing of the past. Job security, financial security, personal security, and national security all appear to have flown out the window.

As an executive coach and motivational speaker, I've worked with thousands of people who have been sideswiped by life: the media executive who lost her job at the same time as her husband was diagnosed with cancer; the financial planner who lost her husband in the attacks on the World Trade Center; the real estate executive forced into early retirement. These people were hurled into the air, with no trapeze in sight.

But I have also worked with many men and women who actively yearned for their life to change, who sought out a new life but didn't quite know how to make it happen or didn't feel as if they deserved something better. Some were business people who were basically satisfied with their careers, but didn't know how to take the next step. Others knew where they wanted to go, but didn't know how to get there. Others, like the young banker who was so miserable in her position that she felt like she was in jail, were simply stuck. Another client, a lawyer, used to fantasize that she'd get hit by a car and break a leg, just so she could spend some time relaxing in the hospital. All of these people felt trapped -- and sensed something worthwhile was missing in their lives. So they desperately clung to their old trapeze, losing momentum with each half-hearted swing.