Continued From Page 2

Oh, well, it's really nothing. It was a team effort. There was this guy who I had read about in the paper, so I wrote him and later called his assistant, who said he wanted to meet with me. I went in and told him about the services of the bank and what we could do for him. He said it sounded interesting and asked where do we go from here? And I said, well, I'll bring the portfolio manager and my senior banker with me and we'll make an appointment. So we went back in two weeks. I led off the meeting, but the senior person did most of the talking, and we got a call yesterday and he's giving us ten million dollars. And then she sat down.

I asked the group for some feedback. The fellow who had initially urged her on was flabbergasted. "Patty, what was that? You heard about this guy, you called him up, you met with him, and he gave you ten million dollars! You told it as if you had nothing to do with it. Quite frankly, you sounded like a wimp."

Patty replied, "Yeah, well, you know, a lot of people helped out. I didn't want to sound like I was bragging and taking all the credit." An Ah-Ha Moment for Patty Seeing that Patty was missing the point, I encouraged this co-worker to get up and act as though the story had happened to him. He said:

Oh man, I read about this guy in the paper. I got really excited about it. I wrote him a fabulous letter. I called his assistant to set up a meeting with him. On the day of the appointment, I was nervous but we still had a great conversation. I was really on my game that day. And he said, "What's the next step?" And I said, "I'll come back with my boss and portfolio manager. You're going to love them." When we walked in two weeks later, I introduced everyone to set the stage. Then they did their thing. Just yesterday the guy contacted me to give us his ten-million-dollar account. I am so psyched! I nursed this baby from beginning to end.

I asked the group to describe differences between the two versions of the story. The remarks were revealing: "David really owned it. He came across as excited about what happened. But he seemed authentic, too. He didn't come off like he was stretching the truth. You could tell he was really proud of what he had done."

Patty said, "Now that I've seen him do it and people respond so positively, maybe it wouldn't feel as uncomfortable to promote myself in this way." Like so many others I have coached, Patty was learning to overcome the whispers from her past, those similar to my father's, like "You're going to break an arm, patting yourself on the back too much."

Myth #4:
I DON'T HAVE TO BRAG;
PEOPLE WILL DO IT FOR ME

It's great if someone says something nice about you, but don't hold your breath. Although letting others do the bragging for you is one tool in your goody bag, it isn't your only tool. And it's no substitute for you. No one is going to have your interests at heart the way you do. No one will ever tell your story and get people excited about you like you can. Plus, nine times out of ten, when those to whom you report talk positively about your work to others, it's usually because there is something in it for them. Unfortunately, the accolade is often framed in such a way as to bolster them, more than you!

Since most people rarely acquire the skills to promote and talk about themselves, many come to rely on others to do the dirty work and boast on their behalf. As children, most of us have at least one adoring fan who pushes us along, builds our ego and self-esteem: a parent, a coach, a favorite aunt or grandparent who takes us under a wing, or a teacher who's convinced we're the next Einstein or Michael Jordan. Where we start to really stumble is when we grow up. When we no longer have our childhood cheerleading squad on hand, many of us wrongly presume that others in the workplace will fill their shoes and continue with unconditional support for our accomplishments and us. And even then, when someone occasionally sings our praises to others, we tend to deflect the compliments with self-deprecating comments: "Oh, no, it wasn't anything," or like Patty, in the preceding example, "It wasn't me. It was really the team."

Looking Out for #1

Bill, age twenty-one, a quiet, understated, no-nonsense type of guy, has yet to grasp the most basic rules when it comes to self-promotion. He's a go-getter salesman who has just placed first in the Southwestern division for selling more of his company's software than anyone. He believes that his numbers speak for themselves and he assumes that his boss, who has praised him often for his sales prowess, will let the higher-ups know.

When his boss presents his division's sales results and estimates to senior management, here is what he says: "We've had an excellent first half; we are up twenty-five percent, a remarkable feat considering the tech downturn." When asked by the CEO what's working, Bill's boss replies, "I've put a top-notch sales force in place and I've trained them well. You know that problem we were having with our fixed-pricing schedule? Well, I sat down with Fred, the marketing director, and we determined that if we allowed our sales guys some greater flexibility and let them customize some of the pricing-within limits, of course-we'd sell substantially more units. And that is exactly what happened."