Continued From Page 3

When someone mentions that she heard about Bill getting the award for the most sales in the Southwest, his boss says, "I knew the day he walked in that I could whip him into shape. I worked hard to get him on board, and it's paid off."

Even though Bill got the sales award, the boss took most of the credit. Bill's lackluster bragging skills limited him on two levels. First, because he placed very little importance on making personal connections with his boss or senior management, they had no vested interest in him, other than some guy making his numbers. Second, Bill's tight-lipped "sales are the only thing that matters" mentality is shortsighted. Had he revealed something more about himself and his story, his boss would have learned that Bill is from a tough neighborhood. He put himself through school and now spends a lot of his leisure time as a mentor with troubled youth. Knowing this, his boss might have told the CEO instead, "I knew the day he walked in that Bill was gold. He had already worked his way through college, and that kind of can-do attitude has paid off." Now, suddenly an image of Bill appears in everyone's mind. He becomes more than just a good hire. He becomes a gutsy, hardworking guy with a can-do attitude.

And if Bill had mentioned to his boss his work with youth, a seed might have been planted. One of the higher-ups in the meeting asks Bill's boss if he knows of anyone who might be interested in starting a high-profile community outreach program to enhance the company's image. Bill's boss says, "Not off the top of my head," and Bill misses another golden opportunity. Seldom are we encouraged to bring our background, our experience, and our enthusiasm to the table and weave them into a compelling human-interest story. It's ironic that with all the advances in communications technology, our interpersonal business communication skills languish in the Dark Ages.

Myth #5:
MORE IS BETTER

It's a beautiful California morning. I am in my office early when the phone rings and I answer it. Immediately I am once again reminded that self-promotion is all about the quality of one's message and story, rather than a boring list of accomplishments. As the following discussion so vividly demonstrates, it doesn't matter what you've done; if you can't sell yourself in a way that's inviting to others, people shut down. "Hi, is Peggy Klaus in?" asked a female voice. "Yes, this is she." Never stopping to ask if this was a good time to talk, this stranger proceeded to launch into a litany of her accomplishments, delivered with the precision of a Power-Point presentation. "I am so excited to talk to you. I just graduated with a degree in communication. I was an excellent student with a 4.0 GPA. I wrote for the school newspaper, which has won accolades from all over the state. I also interned at a local advertising agency during the summers for the last four years. I have a very good reputation and references. For my term paper, I wrote about the changing role of communication in our society today. I think I would be perfect for a job in communication, and since you are involved in that, I wanted to speak with you."

I said, "I'm sorry, what was your name?" She stated her name, but before I could get another word in edgewise, to my utter amazement, she continued: "I also forgot to tell you, I don't know how I could have forgotten, because it's so important, but I can't begin work for another month because I won a prestigious service award and will be traveling to Africa next month to help needy children."

I finally had to say, "Excuse me, Sarah. Obviously you've done so many things, but I have to tell you that I am not looking to hire anyone at this point. You might want to consider some of the larger firms in the area." "Thank you for talking to me," she responded meekly, sounding as if the air had seeped out of her overinflated balloon. Sarah, like many, is a victim of a one-size-fits-all method of presentation that emphasizes form over authenticity.

If she had only started off by asking, "Is this a convenient time to talk?," by telling me how she had learned about my firm, and by engaging me in a thirty-second story about herself, the result would have been different. Even though I wasn't hiring, I would have offered her the name of a personal friend who was. As it was, I just wanted to get her off the phone.

Myth #6:
GOOD GIRLS DON'T BRAG

I'll never forget the national television images of thirteen-year- old Rebecca Sealfon, winner of the National Spelling Bee, screaming and leaping around the stage in triumph of her hard-won victory. Unlike Patty, the junior banker who resisted telling others about her multimillion-dollar business win, Rebecca was excited and proud. She was happy and confident. She was a female thrilled to tell the world about her success.