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The Power of Nice Principle #1

Positive impressions are like seeds.

Every time you smile at a messenger, laugh at a co-worker's joke, thank an assistant, or treat a stranger with graciousness and respect, you throw off positive energy. That energy makes an impression on the other person that, in turn, is passed along to and imprinted on the myriad others he or she meets. Such imprints have a multiplier effect. And ultimately, those favorable impressions find their way back to you. That doesn't mean the waiter you tipped well will one day found a Fortune 100 company and offer you stock options (unless it was one hell of a tip). The results of the power of nice are rarely that direct. In fact, you may not notice any impact on your life for years, apart from the warm glow it gives you inside. Nonetheless, we have found that the power of nice has a domino effect. You may not ever be able to trace your good fortune back to a specific encounter, but it is a mathematical certainty that the power of nice lays the groundwork for many opportunities down the road. These positive impressions are like seeds. You plant them and forget about them, but underneath the surface, they're growing and expanding, often exponentially.

By following a simple philosophy, Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval have built one of the fastest-growing advertisement agencies by just being nice.

Here's an example of how the power of nice has worked for us. Not long ago, we featured Donald Trump's wife, Melania, in an Aflac commercial, at the suggestion of Aflac chairman and CEO Daniel Amos. We gave Mrs. Trump, as one of the stars of the commercial, her own trailer and made sure she was comfortable and had everything she needed. Our team treated her nicely not because she was married to a famous person, but because we have a policy of being polite and respectful to all the talent on our advertising shoots.

Months later, the producers of 'The Apprentice' asked Linda to be a judge on one of the shows, in which the apprentice hopefuls were required to create a car advertisement:

Before the first segment was shot, I introduced myself to Donald Trump, mentioning that we were the agency that had used his wife in an Aflac duck commercial. Well, Trump clearly remembered his wife's experience, because right before the shooting started, he leaned over and said, "You were so nice to my wife. Watch how I return the favor."

Then he got on and described The Kaplan Thaler Group as one of the hottest ad agencies in the country -- on network television! He then went out of his way to include me in the on-camera discussions. All because we were nice to his wife.

The Power of Nice Principle #2

You never know.

OK, you're thinking. So it pays to be nice to Donald Trump's wife. But we're all smart enough to cooperate with the important people in our lives -- the people we interact with often, like neighbors and co-workers, and the people involved in important transactions, such as mortgage brokers and prospective employers. We're much less likely, however, to worry about, say, a stranger whom we'll never see again. Too often, our thinking is "What does it matter?"

Diane Karnett certainly never thought the young woman she met on a train home to New York City would transform her life. The woman was visiting her grandmother, who happened to live in Diane's neighborhood, so they split a cab ride. When they arrived at the grandmother's apartment, the woman asked Diane if she'd help her carry her bags up to the fifth-floor walk-up.

"I figured why not?" But by the time they reached the fourth floor, she could think of many reasons why not.

The woman's eighty-five-year-old grandmother turned out to be an ex-Ziegfeld showgirl named Millie Darling, who befriended Diane and showed her New York as she had never known it. "Through the years, I was treated like royalty at her favorite jazz clubs and saloons," says Diane.

That would have been more than enough reward for lugging a few bags up several flights of stairs. But it turns out Millie was the mother of Chan Parker, widow of the legendary jazz great Charlie Parker. When Diane was unemployed, Chan invited Diane to live with her in her farmhouse outside of Paris. Diane accepted and told her former employer about her move. They said that since she was moving to Paris anyway, why not set up shop and run a co-venture for them there? Diane remained in Paris for four glorious years, spending weekends at Chan Parker's farmhouse, socializing with Chan's fabulous and fascinating visitors -- jazz legends, journalists, even Clint Eastwood. "I could have let that stranger on the train carry her own bags up. And missed it all," says Diane.

When we meet strangers on the street, we usually assume they aren't important to us. Unlike our friend Diane, we often avoid contact with the woman sitting next to us on the train or maybe even race ahead to beat her to a cab as we exit the station. The thinking is, "She's just some woman who has nothing to do with my life. Getting the cab is more important than being nice to her."

But how do you know that? This woman could be the sister of your boss. Or a real estate agent who knows of a home in your dream neighborhood. Or the head of a foundation that could give your fledgling charity the backing it desperately needs. The bottom line is, this woman is important to many people. You have to treat everyone you meet as if they are the most important person in the world -- because they are. If not to you, then to someone; and if not today, then perhaps tomorrow.





Excerpted from 'The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness.' by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval Copyright © 2006 by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval. Excerpted by permission of Currency, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.