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Sam, a good student, knew from the time he was in high school that he wanted to become a lawyer. He was extremely logical and an excellent debater -- he won awards when he was on the high school debate team -- and eventually attended one of the country's top law schools and made Law Review (a ranking of the top law students in the country). After graduating, he was offered a high-paying job with one of Cleveland's large corporate law firms. Shortly thereafter, he married and had two children.

Unfortunately, Sam's career didn't take off as it seemed like it might have. From the very start, he told his wife that he felt like a "round peg in a square hole" at the law firm. He hated the demeaning way that partners treated associates, and, once he had children, he adamantly refused to travel more than once a month on firm business, even though all the other associates traveled at least twice as much as Sam. On more than one occasion, Sam had what he termed "personality clashes" with partners, generally over issues that had nothing to do with the work and everything to do with their "attitudes." When Sam was passed over for partner, he resigned, telling his wife that he wanted to work for a smaller firm where the culture was more civilized and the hours more reasonable. Sam, though, had issues at every small firm he worked for. At one firm, his boss was lazy and incompetent. At another, the work wasn't sufficiently challenging. Though he didn't change firms as frequently as his father changed employers, he worked for five different firms in twelve years, and he didn't make partner at any of them.

How did Teddy impact Sam's career path, performance, and job satisfaction? First, Teddy was an intermittent or avoidant father emotionally. Teddy's fathering style was primarily absent, even though they lived together. At best, Teddy was a passive father toward Sam. Consequently, Sam grew up without ever establishing a secure emotional attachment with his dad. In turn, he tended to be wary of most people, especially bosses. He never fully trusted them or believed what they told him -- the result of an absent father. Sam tended to leave law firms prematurely, perhaps because he unconsciously didn't want to be dismissed, as his father seemed to dismiss him. Second, Teddy was never a particularly positive role model in his treatment of money or ambition; he never made a lot of money or seemed to care much about achievement. While Sam outwardly wanted to do well and avoid his father's career path -- he had chosen law because he not only had the talent for it but also figured he could make more money and travel less than in other jobs -- he seemed to always sabotage himself professionally.

Just about every employer recognized Sam's talent, but it was his attitude that prevented him from rising above marginal status. Sam always seemed to be complaining about something, and his attitude negatively affected his relationships with clients. On more than one occasion, clients mentioned to Sam's colleagues or bosses that he seemed "disinterested" or at least not fully engaged. This may well have been a result of Teddy's avoidant/absent style of fathering. Except for when Sam played baseball, Teddy had rarely showed much emotion or interest in his son. Although Sam was much more emotionally aware and involved with his kids than Teddy was, he was different at work, putting a barrier between himself and others. He had an excellent legal mind and did solid work, but he didn't connect with clients or colleagues. Sam was more like his father at work than he could ever have imagined, wanted, or guessed.

In thinking about Sam's problems, you should be aware that he was bewildered and deeply frustrated by his inability to develop to the level expected, after having been a law school star. It was only after twelve years of career misfires and with the benefit of hindsight, reflection, and psychotherapy that Sam began to see how his father factor had affected him. Not surprisingly, Sam finally made partner at a midsized law firm when he became aware of how Teddy was still subtly influencing his job choices and attitude. Through his growing awareness, Sam took control of his father factor and made it into a positive influence. Sam was very careful not to blame his father or their strained relationship for his career frustration.

Excerpted from 'The Father Factor: How Your Father's Legacy Impacts Your Career' by Stephen B. Poulter, Ph.D. Copyright© 2006 by Stephen B. Poulter, Ph.D. Excerpted by permission of Prometheus Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.