More Weight Loss Tips from Dr. Abramson
Get diet advice that can improve your life! Check out more from AOL Diet & Fitness Coach Dr. Edward Abramson, plus get additional tips and information on healthy diets and lifestyles from all of our AOL Coaches.
- Quiz: How Healthy are Your Child's Habits?
- AOL Body: Are Your Kids Overweight?
- Find Out More About Dr. Abramson
- Buy 'Body Intelligence' by Dr. Abramson
- More Diet, Fitness and Self Help Interviews
More Answers, Tips and Advice From AOL Coaches
Bethanne Patrick: What's the difference between a chunky child and an obese child?
Dr. Edward Abramson: It's very hard for parents to know whether they should be worried about their child or whether it's just baby fat that he or she is going to outgrow. Usually, what I encourage parents to do is to look at what the child is actually doing. Is the child moving, or does the child tend to sit still? Is the child eating a lot of junk food? Is he or she using food for recreation or to make themselves feel better? Or is the child eating a more balanced diet in a way that's more healthy? So I think really focusing the child's habits probably is more useful than trying to come up with some arbitrary definition of whether the child is just chunky or obese.
Bethanne Patrick: If you've got a child whose weight concerns you, and whose a very picky eater and doesn't seem to want to eat healthy foods, what do you think a parent should do?
Dr. Edward Abramson: I think parents can do a lot to encourage children to try new and healthy foods. One of the things they can do is set a good example. Let the child see you enjoying vegetables or fruits, for example. Another thing that parents can do -- especially when the children are younger -- is have them help in the kitchen preparing a meal that's healthy. It's really unlikely that the child, after spending an afternoon with mom making something, will then refuse to sample it. Recognize that sometimes if a child refuses a food, that may not be permanent. Wait a week or two and then try again. But one thing that I discourage parents from doing is to use desserts as a reward. Saying something like, 'You can't have ice cream unless you finish your carrots' is not helpful, because then you’re teaching the child that ice cream is a more valuable food and carrots are a less valuable food.
Bethanne Patrick: What about when the children are at school or at a friend's house and they are not under your control? What are the kinds of things you can do to help them make good choices about eating then?
Dr. Edward Abramson: Recognize first of all that you don’t have control. It's kind of foolish to absolutely prohibit a food when you know that the child will have access to it you know some place else. But, I think you can encourage the child to participate in activities where that kind of eating is less likely. So, for instance, instead of having your teenage daughter hang out with friends at the mall where they are likely to stop at the fast food places, if they participate in sports or some other kind of activity after school it makes that kind of eating less likely. But recognize that the child will socialize and even if he or she knows that they really don't need to be eating tortilla chips when their friends do, they probably are going to feel some social pressure to go along with it.
Bethanne Patrick: So, it's probably not going to be useful for a parent to say to a child tell a child to cut out the junk food completely?
Dr. Edward Abramson: You know, that's unrealistic. It just is not likely to happen. What happens then is you are basically encouraging your child to be sneaky about it. And that doesn't help anybody.
Bethanne Patrick: In your book 'Body Intelligence,' you talk about parents whose children are being taunted or teased about their body and weight. How do you handle that? What advice do you have?
Dr. Edward Abramson: That is very heartbreaking. Kids can be incredibly cruel to other children who are overweight. And then that can kind of snowball so that the overweight child retreats and becomes more isolated. And he or she may use food to console him or herself -- which then of course leads to getting even heavier. So, I think it is important to do a couple things. One is, if you really feel that there is a concerted effort in the class to pick on your child then I would talk to the teacher. Frequently, they can put an end to it or at least decrease it. But if it's more of just kind of a random or haphazard teasing then I think parents can help boost the child's self-esteem so that the teasing has less of an impact. The other thing I think is helpful is that if the child is physically active -- even if he or she is overweight -- then the other kids become less likely to tease, because the child is participating as part of the group rather than being withdrawn and isolated.
Bethanne Patrick: What advice do you have for parents who might be struggling with their own body image for helping children to develop a healthy body image?
Dr. Edward Abramson: In 'Body Intelligence,' I discuss at some length what parents can do to foster a healthy body image in their child. And basically it starts with yourself. Even if you have a lot of weight to lose and you're not very happy with your appearance, that doesn't mean that you should let your child hear you put yourself down. So if someone, let's say, compliments your outfit, an appropriate response is to thank them. Rather than to say, 'Oh but I still have 40 pounds to lose,' or something like that. Even if you're dissatisfied with your own body, allow yourself to feel good about parts of your appearance that are attractive. You have nice eyes perhaps, your hair is nice or something along that line. And let your child see you express good feelings about yourself rather than to hear you constantly put yourself down because you're too heavy.
Dr. Edward Abramson: It's very hard for parents to know whether they should be worried about their child or whether it's just baby fat that he or she is going to outgrow. Usually, what I encourage parents to do is to look at what the child is actually doing. Is the child moving, or does the child tend to sit still? Is the child eating a lot of junk food? Is he or she using food for recreation or to make themselves feel better? Or is the child eating a more balanced diet in a way that's more healthy? So I think really focusing the child's habits probably is more useful than trying to come up with some arbitrary definition of whether the child is just chunky or obese.
Bethanne Patrick: If you've got a child whose weight concerns you, and whose a very picky eater and doesn't seem to want to eat healthy foods, what do you think a parent should do?
Dr. Edward Abramson: I think parents can do a lot to encourage children to try new and healthy foods. One of the things they can do is set a good example. Let the child see you enjoying vegetables or fruits, for example. Another thing that parents can do -- especially when the children are younger -- is have them help in the kitchen preparing a meal that's healthy. It's really unlikely that the child, after spending an afternoon with mom making something, will then refuse to sample it. Recognize that sometimes if a child refuses a food, that may not be permanent. Wait a week or two and then try again. But one thing that I discourage parents from doing is to use desserts as a reward. Saying something like, 'You can't have ice cream unless you finish your carrots' is not helpful, because then you’re teaching the child that ice cream is a more valuable food and carrots are a less valuable food.
Bethanne Patrick: What about when the children are at school or at a friend's house and they are not under your control? What are the kinds of things you can do to help them make good choices about eating then?
Dr. Edward Abramson: Recognize first of all that you don’t have control. It's kind of foolish to absolutely prohibit a food when you know that the child will have access to it you know some place else. But, I think you can encourage the child to participate in activities where that kind of eating is less likely. So, for instance, instead of having your teenage daughter hang out with friends at the mall where they are likely to stop at the fast food places, if they participate in sports or some other kind of activity after school it makes that kind of eating less likely. But recognize that the child will socialize and even if he or she knows that they really don't need to be eating tortilla chips when their friends do, they probably are going to feel some social pressure to go along with it.
Bethanne Patrick: So, it's probably not going to be useful for a parent to say to a child tell a child to cut out the junk food completely?
Dr. Edward Abramson: You know, that's unrealistic. It just is not likely to happen. What happens then is you are basically encouraging your child to be sneaky about it. And that doesn't help anybody.
Bethanne Patrick: In your book 'Body Intelligence,' you talk about parents whose children are being taunted or teased about their body and weight. How do you handle that? What advice do you have?
Dr. Edward Abramson: That is very heartbreaking. Kids can be incredibly cruel to other children who are overweight. And then that can kind of snowball so that the overweight child retreats and becomes more isolated. And he or she may use food to console him or herself -- which then of course leads to getting even heavier. So, I think it is important to do a couple things. One is, if you really feel that there is a concerted effort in the class to pick on your child then I would talk to the teacher. Frequently, they can put an end to it or at least decrease it. But if it's more of just kind of a random or haphazard teasing then I think parents can help boost the child's self-esteem so that the teasing has less of an impact. The other thing I think is helpful is that if the child is physically active -- even if he or she is overweight -- then the other kids become less likely to tease, because the child is participating as part of the group rather than being withdrawn and isolated.
Bethanne Patrick: What advice do you have for parents who might be struggling with their own body image for helping children to develop a healthy body image?
Dr. Edward Abramson: In 'Body Intelligence,' I discuss at some length what parents can do to foster a healthy body image in their child. And basically it starts with yourself. Even if you have a lot of weight to lose and you're not very happy with your appearance, that doesn't mean that you should let your child hear you put yourself down. So if someone, let's say, compliments your outfit, an appropriate response is to thank them. Rather than to say, 'Oh but I still have 40 pounds to lose,' or something like that. Even if you're dissatisfied with your own body, allow yourself to feel good about parts of your appearance that are attractive. You have nice eyes perhaps, your hair is nice or something along that line. And let your child see you express good feelings about yourself rather than to hear you constantly put yourself down because you're too heavy.
