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'Eating Mindfully'

By SUSAN ALBERS, PSY.D.
Continued From Page 6

Food comparison is a common but disturbing phenomenon that people must deal with when eating with friends. Food comparers place their orders based on what other people are eating. This is an example of mindless eating because it is more mindful of someone else's behavior than your own. Both your experience of and relationship to food are uniquely yours. For this reason, it is important for you to focus and meditate on your own experience. Eat from your own plate.

Master Your Hungry Mind

Eating Mindfully by Susan Albers

Susan Albers introduces concepts of acceptance and awareness of one's eating behaviors and a means for restoring tranquility to meals.

    More Answers, Tips and Advice From AOL Coaches
    Skill Builder: Eleven Ways to Dine Out
    1. The first step in planning an evening out is to choose a restaurant mindfully. This means picking one with a large selection of healthy, interesting foods. Avoid buffet style, "All You Can Eat," one-price, three-course meals, or places with limited selections. This falls under the same set of rules as avoiding the grocery store when hungry.
    2. To help avoid mindless eating, have a small snack before you go. Don't go really hungry, and don't "save up" calories for this meal. When you are moderately hungry as opposed to very hungry, it is much easier to make mindful choices and to refuse food you normally wouldn't eat. Very hungry people are likely to eat anything put in front of them. Moderately hungry people are choosier. If you are really hungry, you will likely order too much. To avoid overeating, choose something similar to what you would prepare at home. Eat slowly and savor the entire experience.
    3. Eat mindfully and stay attuned to your relationships with people and with food. Talk, laugh, and have a good time. If you are attacked by guilt-ridden thoughts about eating, keep your eyes and 90 percent of your attention on the people with you.
    4. If you are a "food comparer" or are competitive about your weight, order first so you won't be tempted to change your pick. Focus on positive food talk. Compliment the taste. Don't join with others if they are engaging in hypercritical food talk. Consider not dining out with people who raise your anxiety level or with people who are overly focused on their own eating issues. Find people who are good, mindful eating role models.
    5. Become more relationship-focused by ordering together and sharing the food. If you are hungry for a particular food that is normally off-limits for you, such as an appetizer or a dessert, ask someone at your table to share half of an order with you. Sharing exotic food can be fun. Make a joint decision about your pick. Discuss your likes and dislikes rather than dwelling on food that you can't have. Have fun. Enjoy your meal.
    6. Do not judge what others eat. No one wants to dine with someone who criticizes their food choices. If someone chooses greasy French fries that you wouldn't dare touch, be aware of your reaction. Say to yourself, "I'm judging and I need to be more compassionate. I notice that I become envious and critical at the same time. I need to focus on my eating and my eating alone." At other times, you might feel guilty that your "thinner" companion is eating less than you are. Again, be mindful of your needs and everything going on within yourself.
    7. Minimize using food as a way to celebrate or provide pleasure. Buy a gift, send a card, leave a very thoughtful voice-mail message. Sometimes people joke about needing a "chocolate fix" to mend the strains of a stressful day. You know that in the long run, food just won't do it. Reinforcing the notion that food provides the ultimate comfort is just plain dangerous.
    8. Don't make a show of what you order. Sometimes people like to get validation (or an envious reaction) by ordering their meal to be served without cheese, oil, butter, etc. Give the waitperson your order based on your taste preferences, not to provoke a reaction.
    9. Avoid picking at your food mindlessly. When bread is brought to your table, take a piece or two, and send the rest away. Bread (and butter) are among the most common mindlessly eaten foods. Also, when you are done with your meal, move your plate to the side, or ask to have it removed. It's easy to put more food on your plate mindlessly, or pick at it when it is in front of you.
    10. Loosen the connection between eating and socializing. If your friends ask you out to dinner frequently, suggest meeting for coffee or tea instead. Plan nonfood-related activities like walks or movies. Or, invite your friends to a dinner you will prepare.
    11. Don't conduct business meetings or important discussions over a meal. It is difficult to be attentive to your eating when you must engage in critical or emotional conversation at the table. People tend to use food unconsciously to soothe tension.
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