Your New York Times bestseller Queen Bees & Wannabes (Crown Publishers, 2002) was a runaway success that strongly resonated with parents of teenage girls. What prompted you to turn from the teenagers' to the parents' perspective?

The inspiration for this book came during a talk I gave to a group of parents. In the middle of my presentation, I noticed that two mothers sitting in the front row were rolling their eyes, sighing, and shaking their heads while one of them whispered, 'Not our girls. Not our girls.' At first all I could think about was how rude these women were, but then I realized that the dynamic among the mothers in that room was strikingly similar to what you'd find in a group of young girls -- with one crucial difference. Because they were adults, the Queen Bee moms could act worse than Queen Bee girls because they knew no one would call them out on their behavior. In that moment, I knew that I would write about parents.

The two most intimidating types of parents you describe are the Queen Bee Mom and the Kingpin Dad. What are some of the most common conflicts that arise involving these types of parents and what are some strategies for dealing with them?

When a Queen Bee Mom or Kingpin Dad hears that their child has been hurtful to another child, a common response is: 'Well, I just think she took it the wrong way. My child didn't mean anything by it and, anyway, that child has always been a little sensitive.' I think it is important to remember that the bullies never get to define how hurtful their (or their children's) behavior is for the victim. Different people might have different interpretations of an event, but no one gets to question another's right to their feelings. So get your courage up and deal with the Queen Bee Mom and Kingpin Dad. Tell them exactly what you don't like, state what you want instead, and then reiterate by telling them how important it is to you that you all work together to fix the problem.

You say that one of the hardest things for parents is knowing when to get involved in a child's conflicts. Let's say my child has a misunderstanding or a disagreement with a teacher -- either about classroom behavior or about a grade he feels is unfair. How do I decide whether to step in and, if I do step in, what should I keep in mind when I meet with that teacher?

If your child has received a grade he thinks is unfair, he should talk to the teacher, not you. But you can help him prepare for that conversation. First, review the criteria for the assignment or test. Second, have your child articulate his problem with the grade based on the criteria. If your child still believes he's right to complain, he should arrange to meet with the teacher at a mutually convenient time. This means he shouldn't spontaneously demand a meeting right before class, during class, or when the teacher is going from one class to another.

The only time you should immediately get involved is if your child is being insulted, dismissed, or disrespected by the teacher. Have your child write down exactly how she is being treated that she feels is disrespectful and ask her what outcome she would like to see. Arrange a meeting at a time that is convenient for the teacher. Describe the problem, request what you (and your child) would like, and affirm your belief in treating teachers and children with dignity.