- Audrey Chapman
- Dr. Rita DeMaria
- Lauren Frances
- Yvonne Fulbright
- Elina Furman
- John Gottman
- John Gray
- Kristina Grish
- Anna Jane Grossman/Flint Wainess
- Julia Hartley Moore
- Lana Holstein
- Dr. Hilda Hutcherson
- Wendy Jaffe
- Evan Marc Katz
- Ian Kerner
- Dina Koutas Poch
- Martin Lloyd-Elliott
- Stephanie Losee/Helaine Olen
- Dr. Bethany Marshall
- Terrence Real
- Star Jones Reynolds
- Nancy Slotnick
- John Van Epp
- Michele Weiner Davis
- Ellen T. White
I Love My In-Laws
Turn Back the Clock
AOL Kids & Family Life Coach Dina Koutas Poch, author of 'I Love My In-laws' shares
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Your First Time
You could enjoy years of blissful dating or marriage and raise wonderful children, but your in-laws will forever remember your first meeting. By all means, be yourself -- your neatly dressed, intelligent, fiscally responsible and fertile self.
Know Thy In-laws
Not everyone is an open book. The next time your in-laws bust out the family photo album, don't go to your happy place. Instead, commit scenes and faces to memory. You never know what might unlock a family secret -- and secrets are critical to gaining power in your in-law relationship.
You're Perfect. Now Change
Of course there are things about your significant other that you would love to change. But by identifying which of his habits are family traditions -- fall Sunday afternoons spent glued to the TV -- you can choose your battles more effectively.
His Parents or Yours?
Some holidays are in demand, like Thanksgiving or Christmas. Others lack the "it" factor. When everyone wants you, the best solution is balance by rotating on an every-other-year schedule between families. Be up front that they respect your Solomon-like attempts at fairness. Missing Granny's pecan pie? There's always FedEx.
Hungry (for Your) Vacation Days
You get precious few days off each year. Do you really want to spend them with your in-laws. Sure, sometimes you "owe" them time from your vacation bank for their silver anniversary. But you and your mate deserve unfettered interest payments -- that is, time alone. Nix the Alaskan cruise with the in-laws for a couple's weekend in the Bahamas.
Detox Your Home
Leave toxicity at the front door, along with your shoes. Other simple steps are to eliminate everyday toxins are to throw away your sponges -- replace with dishcloths that you wash weekly -- and all plastic dry cleaning wraps. Protect your pillows and mattresses against dust-mites with well-laundered covers. Other simple steps are to eliminate everyday toxins.
The Divorced In Law
Dealing with divorced in-laws can be like juggling bottles of nitroglycerin. You never know what's going to explode. The only way to handle this is to let everyone know you're trying to split time equally. And that includes time for your parents, too.
Your Roommate In-Laws
They want to spend the holidays at your place. Great but remember to balance your hospitality with a little self-respecting selfishness. If they're staying for one week or less, wait on them hand and foot. If it stretches out, lay down the house rules. Everyone has to empty the washer.
Interpretation of Gifts
You were almost certain they liked you, until you opened a tub of hand cream -- a gift that screams, 'I don't know you.' While most gifts are given with the best of intentions
Play Switzerland
Don't take sides in family disputes. To avoid having to weigh in on whether your partner's brother is lazy, or whether the Iraq invasion was justified, direct conversation toward happier topics. Didn't your sweetie once sing in a boy's choir? Isn't that precious?
The Beloved Family Pet
Even if "Tinkerbell" bites and doesn't like women, this pet is above you in the family hierarchy. Allergic? Swallow a Claritin and accept that all conversations will be interrupted by "Oh, that's the cutest thing" and "Sorry! Let me get you a Band-Aid."
'I Love My In-Laws' by Dina Koutas Poch
Nana
She looks like a sweet human raisin -- and rules with a ruthless grip on your partner and his clan. You can't win her over, but you know what's great? Because of Nana, your mother-in-law is your newest best friend. Use that alliance, and together you can loosen her hold.
I Love My In-Laws
'I Love My In-Laws'
Excerpted from 'I Love My In-Laws' by Dina Koutas Poch, Copyright© 2007 by Dina Koutas Poch. Excerpted with permission from Owl Books.
Age Well, Live Long
