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Q: Are relationships affected by on-the-job stress?

A: Coming home stressed from work makes you more likely to blow up at your kids and lash out at your spouse. Be aware of how you spend your time at the office, and stop obsessively checking e-mail or surfing the Web. The more efficient you are from 9 to 5, the more you'll get done, and the less of a problem it'll be to leave at 5:15. Then undo the day's damage: Research shows that 10 minutes of hand-holding and a 20-second hug from your spouse can lessen the damaging effects of stress. You've got to let your partner know when you're feeling neglected, before you're both as bitter as a lemon peel. Be warned, though. If you try to pick this particular fight when your partner's just come home or is decompressing from work, it's a good bet that he or she is going to snap. Try a Saturday morning over coffee. Start the discussion by saying, "I really love doing things like this."

Q: Not many couples cop to fighting about commitment. But word on the street is that the C-word is a often a relationship deal breaker. Why the discrepancy?

A: One reason is either the guy avoids it, or the woman doesn't even bring it up (because she assumes he's going to avoid it). While there are some guys who like the idea of a master plan (marriage in two years, kids in four, house with a three-car garage right after), nobody deserves to feel like they're floating in a life preserver with no sign of the Coast Guard. Just like an employee wants to get some feedback about his career direction, a partner also deserves the same courtesy when talking about the future. So if, say, he's mum about what he wants (assuming you're months into the relationship and not days), then you have every right to push the issue. Not with ultimatums or rings or the co-signing of deeds, but with some kind of assurance that you want things to progress. Bring the C-word up after a big mess-up, like his forgetting a special date or failing to check on you when you're sick. That inconsideration already has him against the ropes, and it forces him to acknowledge to himself -- and then to you -- what you both want. And if he can't articulate his vision for the relationship even a little bit, you have every right to fire him.

Q: There's a problem, though. Sometimes guys just don't open up.

A: So true: With nearly 3 in 10 men saying they fight about the fact that they don't share or communicate about their feelings, it's clear that men aren't forthcoming about what they expect in a relationship -- whether it's the fact that they want two guys' nights out a month, or that they don't plan on having kids anytime soon. While women are traditionally much better about articulating what they want and expect, some men need some coaxing. In a Men's Health survey, 23 percent of men even admit to saying "I love you" to escape arguments -- making it clear that men would rather shut up then speak up. If a man needs a bit of needling to articulate what he wants from the relationship, then women shouldn't be afraid to spark the fire. The best time to open the dialogue is right after you tell him to pick up his socks. While guys don't necessarily like to stir things up, he'll be more likely to be honest about his expectations of you and the relationship after he's been the target of a minor annoyance. His survival mechanism will surface and get him going.

Q: Does it make a difference how you fight?

A: Ninety-three percent of couples who fight dirty will be divorced in 10 years, according to marital researchers at the University of Utah. So while arguing can be a healthy means of expressing your feelings, unreasonable yelling and non-constructive criticism won't get you anywhere. Avoid zingers, sarcasm. "I gotcha" one-liners and attempts to one-up your partner. They can damage a relationship even more than the fight itself, and increased sarcasm has been shown as a big predictor of relationship demise. After you make up, bring up any concerns with your partner's fighting style -- like his silent treatment -- and tell him that you appreciated how he actually listened to your concerns (only if it's true). Disagreements are as unavoidable as taxes and damaging photographs of Britney, but the way you interact during them provides an opportunity for your relationship to grow.

About David Zinczenko

David Zinczenko, 37, senior vice president and editor in chief of Men's Health, is author of 'Men, Love & Sex,' 'The Abs Diet' and 'The Abs Diet for Women.' He is also an award-winning journalist, contributor to NBC News' 'Today,' and a frequent guest on national news programs.