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The truth is many of us grew up thinking that we would one day be picked, rather than having to do the picking ourselves. Schooled in the art of capturing a man, flirting, and looking good, we never learned how to scrutinize, analyze, and evaluate the opposite sex. It was enough that he fit a standard ideal of the "right" guy -- financially secure, polite, and color-coordinated. We may have the power to make our own decisions now, but that doesn't mean we're any more equipped than our mothers to make good ones.

With so many dizzying options to pick from, today's women are far more prone to catching the commitment-phobia bug than ever before. Think about it. It's all too easy to decide on a coat of paint for your bedroom when you only have a choice of two colors. But when presented with a rainbow of equally pleasing options (caramel latte, polo blue, acorn yellow), the whole matter can become far more confusing than it needs to be. And when it comes to making a decision about love, the rest of your life, or even the next few years, it's all too easy to freak out and lose our heads. With choice comes responsibility, and that's the hardest pill of all to swallow.

If you think our mothers had it rough in that department, consider that their lack of opportunities could have been a blessing in disguise. Not that I'm proposing to go back to the old regime or anything. After all, many of our mothers are now left with the hard work of reinventing themselves after never having the opportunity to invent themselves properly in the first place. But you have to admit that life seemed a little bit easier back then. So before you start thinking about how much luckier you are than dear old Mom, stop to consider that our freedom exacts its own price, and its name is commitment-phobia. While your mom may wonder what it is like to be in your shoes every now and then, rest assured she's also pretty damn glad she isn't.

The Times are A-Changin'

No matter what you call it -- commitment-phobia, cold feet, runaway-bride syndrome -- the results are the same: a new breed of women with an enormous sense of entitlement, unwilling to put up with less-than-perfect behavior, poor style choices, or personality flaws. With so many factors contributing to this phenomenon, let's stop to consider what's really behind our newfound reluctance to commit.

1. Money Honeys

It used to be that the marital institution guaranteed an upgrade in lifestyle and social status. In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, remaining single was often tantamount to a lifetime of menial labor and penury: women would be turned out of their parents' houses, forced to work in demeaning occupations, and sometimes even starve due to a lack of marital opportunities. So when the first man came along who could rescue them from their squalid conditions, you can bet that they didn't spend time ticking off all his annoying habits or raising hell when he picked the wrong restaurant. They were just glad to have something to eat.

But all that's changed. The American way has always been about the quest for something better -- a bigger dream, a better house, a higher-paying job. And with women finally getting a bigger share of the economic pie, it's become the woman's way as well. Judging by such Newsweek cover headlines as "She Works, He Doesn't: The Latest Twist in Jobs and Family (Why 30% of Working Women Make More than Their Husbands)," it's obvious that women are making considerable economic strides.

Despite the fact that women still earn 78 cents for every dollar a man makes, we've certainly come a long way. A 2003 National Association of Realtors survey found that 21 percent of home purchases were made by single women and that they are fast on their way to becoming the most active buyers in the market, even outpacing single men. What's more, single women in the United States account for 50 percent of stock market investing. Entrepreneurially speaking, we're also leading the pack by owning more than 35 percent of U.S. companies and employing more than 27 million people.

With money and social status ceasing to be a primary factor in the choice of partner, it's clear that women's growing financial independence has lessened the urgency to commit. No longer dependent on men for financial security and social status, women are reveling in their freedom and are worried that making a commitment would mean renouncing all that they have worked so hard to attain. So with work and men both vying for equal attention, something usually has to give. And for the professional modern woman, that something is usually romantic relationships. Continued ...