Q: I have been dating a man for almost a year. Our relationship is incredible except he doesn't like to "talk" about our relationship or say the words, "I love you." I have brought this up before and he says his actions speak louder than words and that I should know how he feels. It really bothers me that he cannot verbally express himself. What should I do?

A: First of all, you really do need to look at whether the relationship is in a place where you want it to be because in my experience, when you've been dating someone for a year -- you're seeing someone exclusively -- and you really feel like this is your partner, you usually do want to establish that. When men fall in love and want to be exclusive with someone they pursue, they say so.

The fact that he's saying his actions speak louder than his words may not be accurate and you really do need to look at his actions because if you've been dating for a year, it's really possible that you are with someone who is not willing to make a commitment.

You should look at his actions, but if his actions are not where you want them to be, start a process of really getting him to verbalize his intentions, because you may be putting off the inevitable which is that you are with someone who just doesn't want to commit to you.

Now it is possible that he has issues with articulating intimacy. In my experience as a therapist, the people who have problems articulating intimacy are also the people who have problems expressing intimacy. He's saying his actions speak louder than words but my guess would be that his actions or lack of actions are more in sync with his lack of verbal affirmation than he believes.

If he's somebody who really has problems giving and communicating emotionally and you've been in this for a year it might be a great time to consider seeing a therapist. Therapy isn't necessarily psychoanalysis -- it doesn't mean you're both going to sit on a couch for three years talking about your childhood. It's very action-oriented, solutions driven, and I cannot think of a better candidate for some couples counseling than a couple who's been together for a year and isn't moving forward, and one of the partners wants that relationship to move forward. If he's not speaking up, he might be very comfortable with the way things are.