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Bethanne Patrick: Let's talk about [what's in your control]. I love the idea that you've got some catch phrases but that you also can translate those -- so let me give you the catch phrase from the book and then you translate it for our listeners. How's that?

Evan Marc Katz: Cool, I didn't even know I had catch phrases.

Bethanne Patrick: You do: 'hitting on twenty'

Evan Marc Katz: 'Hitting on twenty' is a black jack metaphor. It's the final chapter of the book and it's actually what inspired me to write the entire thing. The whole concept is that we're always looking into trade-ups in our relationships, so if you view your relationship like a black jack hand -- where twenty-one is the best you can get -- you'd better consider when it's a good time to pull for another card. You'll find a lot of people who have wonderful, successful relationships that aren't perfect -- we can call that a twenty.

Bethanne Patrick: Got it.

Evan Marc Katz: The question is: are you going to hit and try to do just a little bit better in hopes of pulling for that ace.

Bethanne Patrick: Well this is very interesting, Evan, because we've been told in the media in so many ways that, 'You deserve the best. You should hold out for that right guy, Mr. Perfect, because you deserve it.'

Evan Marc Katz: There's holding out for the right guy and holding out for something that may not exist. That's the line that we walk. We're inundated by visions of Hollywood romance and we have strangely high collective self-esteem despite the fact that we're all insecure. We all believe that we deserve something pretty damn great.

Bethanne Patrick: In the words that you quote in the book of the immortal Kenny Rogers, 'Know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.'

Evan Marc Katz: That's a different chapter entirely called 'Get Over It,' but yes.

Bethanne Patrick: But it's true. Know when it's time to hold on. So, here's the next one: 'Guys don't go both ways.' Many women out there are saying 'I really hope he doesn't if he's with me,' but that's not what you're talking about.

Evan Marc Katz: A very misleading chapter.

Bethanne Patrick: What did you mean by that?

Evan Marc Katz: That's an idea in the entire book -- the 'Guys Don't Go Both Ways' chapter, because it talks about two attractive, emotional paradigms that you're going to see in men. There's the strong, silent Marlboro man type -- this guy's got it all under control, he doesn't shed a tear -- and you know what you're getting: he is a rock emotionally. However, he's a little bit distant and a poor communicator because that's the way he functions. That's what his strength is. And you might not feel very connected to him if you're the woman who's his partner, although it's great to have a strong guy like that around.

The flipside is you're going to find a guy who you are emotionally connected to because he talks and he shares his feelings and he's more of the sensitive, artist type. You could talk to him like you could talk to your mom and your girlfriend, and that's wonderful. The problem is when a person shares his feelings, sometimes he's going to be weak and sometimes he's going to be vulnerable because that's what happens when you share your feelings.

Bethanne Patrick: Well, this is what happened to Carrie Bradshaw with Aiden and Mr. Big.