Five Ways to Revamp Your Romantic Life
By JOHN VAN EPP
Gone are the days of skepticism and paranoia about online dating. It's here to stay. There are so many websites tailored to specific focuses and interests, tastes, faiths, and age groups that dating sites might better be referred to as “meeting sites” centered on important compatibility issues. With all the different tools and websites available to you, there’s no reason why you can’t meet someone new this year. All you need is a computer, a search engine, and patience.
Here are John Van Epp's Top Five Ways to Revamp Your Romantic Life:
- Seek out the true person behind the profile. Dating sites are a great way to be introduced to others and make acquaintances. But remember that the profile and representation are one dimensional. For example, no one can ever know “the real you” just from reading your profile. For the whole picture, make sure you see the other person in action. Be patient enough to watch him or her in various situations and moods so you get to the real person behind the profile.
- Take your time. Most jobs require a 90-day probation period to make sure a candidate is a good fit. Approach a potential partner the same way. Allow enough time for the “honeymoon” to settle down and your rose-colored glasses to come off. Don’t invest too much in the relationship until a proven track record has been established. Make sure that your partner’s initial impression is the same as his/her ongoing patterns and habits.
- Don't sprint to the finish line! Pace your involvement. Immediate gratification can often be extremely disappointing the next day. This includes but is not limited to sexual involvement. Pace your trust, dependency, and overall focus on this person. Relationships last because of what you have and do together, and also because of what you refuse to do with others. Exercise a healthy self-restraint and make sure your partner has the same. It will build your trust and confidence in your partner’s integrity and capability for remaining faithful.
- Keep growing as a person. Dating should not replace personal growth. Rather, it should enhance it. You know that you are in a healthy relationship when you feel better about yourself because of what your partner adds to your life. Others will see it, too. Beware of a partner that your friends and family don’t like. Keep yourself balanced between being a person and being a partner.
- Have fun! Rein in your expectations. It’s just a date, no strings attached; so have a good time. When you think of dating like building a friendship then you will follow many of the important steps that are all too often omitted. It is much easier to relax and enjoy the ride when you know where you are and where you are going. By practicing the first four suggestions you will keep your bearings and optimize your creativity and enjoyment in dating.
