Self-pleasure regularly. It helps you understand your body parts and how they work. We will explore this idea more in the next chapter.

Dress sexy every day. Why wait for a special occasion to feel special? Draw out the faded baggy sweatpants. In fact, get rid of any clothes that make you feel old, fat or unattractive.

Don't even wear them around the house when no one is looking. Dress every day just because it makes you feel good about you. Work hard to feel attractive for yourself, not for your partner. For him, it becomes a chore; for yourself, it becomes a necessity! It gives you the desire to walk tall, put a swing in your step, because you know that you look marvelous! Dress in colors that complement your complexion. Wear sensual fabrics that feel good against your skin.

Invest in sexy underwear. Walk into any Victoria Secret or Frederick's of Hollywood, and you can almost feel the sexual heat in the air. Few things make a woman feel sexier than a pretty matching bra and panty or thong set. Wear it under your everyday clothes. Yes, even on days when only you will see it. Your sexy secret will increase your sexual thoughts and your desire. And if you feel like sharing this bit of personal information with someone else, feel free.

Rid yourself of negative sexual images and replace them with positive, empowering messages. If you receive negative messages about sex as a child, write them down and change them into positive ones. Seek professional therapy for events in your past that might have caused you to feel ashamed or repressed about sex.

Discard all negativity. Does that magazine make you feel inadequate? Don't read it. Is that television show less than woman-positive? Don't watch it. Does your partner make negative comments about you and make you feel less than beautiful? Get rid of him. Life is too short.

Adopt a positive attitude about life. All things are possible. There are no limits to what you can do.

Keep a journal. Complete this sentence: "one thing I love about me is _____" and write down your thoughts and feelings daily. Look in the mirror every day and repeat the following affirmation: "I am a sexy, sensual woman. I deserve sexual pleasure. I, and I alone, own my sexuality. I know how to bring pleasure to myself and to my partner. I love my body."

When you're alone, walk around your home naked. As you pass mirrors, glance and appreciate the beauty of your body. Note the smooth curves of the feminine form. Now, practice your "Lola" walk: head is high, back straight, shoulders back, chest out, while your hips sway gently from side to side. The movement is subtle but unmistakably sexy (When I was growing up in Alabama, we used to call it switching).

If you have a private backyard, take your nudity experience outside. Savor the feel of the sun against your skin. Twirl in the wind with arms outstretched. Breathe deeply. Take a flower or leaf and gently brush it along the surface of your skin. Feel alive. Focus on the pleasure.

Get a makeover, including hair, manicure, pedicure or makeup. For maintenance, treat yourself to one of these salon services regularly (at least twice a month).

Write an erotic story in which you are the main character.

Initiate sex. Tonight.

Study sex manuals and be willing to experiment and try new techniques.

Begin an exercise program and work out at least three times a week. A sexy toned book will give you the confidence to make love in any position . . . with the lights on.

Smile. Nothing shows confidence more than a sexy "come-hither" smile.

Create a romantic atmosphere in your home.

Excerpted from 'Pleasure, A Woman's Guide to Getting the Sex You, Want, Need and Deserve' (Putnam) by Hilda Hutcherson, M.D. sex columnist and author of What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex.