Lana Holstein Love & Sex Coach

by Deborah Kotz McCabe, Special to AOL Coaches

Great sex can be hard to come by, especially for overextended couples in long-term relationships. It should be intentional, rather than spontaneous, a way of uniting through body and spirit. That’s the touchy-feely idea behind 'Your Long Erotic Weekend.' It’s based on the principles of Tantra, an erotic form of yoga practiced in India, that’s a hot topic for sex books at the moment. Lana Holstein and David Taylor, both physicians who have been happily married for nearly 30 years, transformed their popular four-day Tantric sex workshop into a book form.

Divided into four parts over four days (let’s call it an extended weekend), the authors stress that "it’s important that you spend four full days together without interruption." Get away to a resort or cabin in the woods if you can, but if you must stay home, leave the kids with grandma and don’t schedule any yard work or errands. Hmm. One day, maybe two, is doable. But four may be a bit tricky for those with young children. Still, for the ultimate "soul-shaking" sex -- which is promised if you follow the plan -- it may be well worth the effort. On day one, you and your partner do a lot of reading about sexual energy, chakras and dimensions that may be sabotaging your sex life. A self-assessment will tell you whether you’re lacking in areas like desire, intimacy or romance. And you’ll learn some basic principles of Tantric sex, like soul-gazing by staring into each other’s eyes and taking breathes in sync with each other.

Days two and three focus on pleasuring her and then him. On the "her" pleasure day, a woman is told to become like the sexual goddess, Shakti, allowing her mate to cater to her every need. A short primer on female sexual response can help men brush up on their skills, and the hour-long pleasuring assignment should put a smile on any woman’s face.

The "his" pleasure day consists of a five-minute quickie in front of the football game (joke!). Actually, men are given the same consideration as women with a primer on how they can ride the wave to release and an hour-long assignment focusing on getting him to this crest and beyond. On the final day of the long weekend, you’ll have a chance to practice all your new skills including the various Tantric touches and sexual positions. The authors also tell you how to maintain the sexual connection once the glow from the weekend has faded.

1. Buy 'Your Long Erotic Weekend'