- Audrey Chapman
- Dr. Rita DeMaria
- Lauren Frances
- Yvonne Fulbright
- Elina Furman
- John Gottman
- John Gray
- Kristina Grish
- Anna Jane Grossman/Flint Wainess
- Julia Hartley Moore
- Lana Holstein
- Dr. Hilda Hutcherson
- Wendy Jaffe
- Evan Marc Katz
- Ian Kerner
- Dina Koutas Poch
- Martin Lloyd-Elliott
- Stephanie Losee/Helaine Olen
- Dr. Bethany Marshall
- Terrence Real
- Star Jones Reynolds
- Nancy Slotnick
- John Van Epp
- Michele Weiner Davis
- Ellen T. White
Romance on the Job
Go Ahead and Date
The majority of our waking hours are spent on the job. So how and when are you supposed to meet that someone special? AOL Love & Sex Life Coaches Stephanie Losee & Helaine Olen, authors of 'Office Mate,' point you in the right direction. Hello? It's at work.
What Hollywood Couples Hooked Up on the Movie Set?
More on Dating
- Buy 'Office Mate'
- More About the Authors
- Looking For More Intimacy?
- Why You're Still Single
- Is He the One?
- Your Money and Your Man
Back to the Future
Let's face it, honesty and respect are not the two words anyone would use to describe the pick-up world of dating Web sites or bars. Think of an affaire de cubicle like a good old-fashioned romance. Everyone is one their best behavior. After all, your professional reputations or jobs are at stake.
Count the Ways
If you're dating, chances are you've had the dubious pleasure of Googling blind dates or IMing someone you've never met. The workplace dating pool operates more like a college campus -- well-stocked with people who share similar interests and backgrounds.
No Need to Rush
Many dating "rules" prescribe slowing things down, as in "Don't see him more than twice a week" and "Don't rush into sex." At work, you and your crush have nothing but time. The best thing is you can get to know each other without trying to get to know each other.
Take it Outside
It might be an office romance, but the less of it that goes on inside your actual workplace, the better. If you're thinking of asking a co-worker out, do it somewhere other than your cubicle. Or his. Wait for the right moment outside the building, such as catching up with him as he's leaving for the day.
When All Else Fails, Try Happy Hour
Going out with the office gang after work is a sure-fire, low-pressure way to get to know someone. You have plenty of company, but it's easy enough to pair off without attracting attention. Warning: While many work romances are lubricated with alcohol, too much can also cause ghastly errors of judgment.
Coworkers Are Not Wingmen
There goes that cute guy from IT. Refrain yourself: Do not ask your best office pal for a fix-up. Yes, coworkers can often spot potential office mates for you. But it's one thing for them to do so on their own, and quite another for you to hit them up for an assist.
Beyond the Office
Coworkers who share interests beyond the workplace often become close. But time may prove that what felt like a love connection was just an illusion created by the job. Take note of what you both like to do during your off-hours. Then do it. But make sure it's venues where you're not likely to bump into your colleagues or other office couples.
Keep the Details to Yourself
It's fine to tell all your best friends about your newfound beau. But don't share more than the most basic details with your office pals. That means nothing about that drop-dead romantic Friday night dinner that ran into Saturday. This is no time to devolve into your high school self.
Keep It Verbal
There are three reasons why you should never ask for a date or even flirt via corporate email. It is the property of your company, and managers can (and do) read it. Email can be forwarded. Finally, like a diamond, emails are forever. If there is any place to exercise self-restraint, this is it.
Take No For an Answer
This should be obvious, but if it were they'd be no need for sexual harassment laws. Not to mention the fact that you don't have to harass someone to qualify as obnoxious. If your object of affection does say no -- to a first date or continuing a relationship -- take it seriously. Then move on.
What About HR?
Obviously, you don't need to tell them about a flirtation, a date or two, or a one night stand (never a good idea), unless you believe it could lead to harassment charges. It's when you're a serious couple -- particularly if you work on differing levels -- that you need to address your firm's policies.
'Office Mate' by Stephanie Losee & Helaine Olen
Excerpted from 'Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding -- and Managing -- Romance on the Job' by Stephanie Losee and Helaine Olen, copyright © 2007 by Stephanie Losee and Helaine Olen. Excerpted with permission from Adams Media.
So ... Why aren't You Dating?
