Wendy Jaffe Love & Sex Coach

by Mary Kearl, Special to AOL Coaches

"Divorce has symptoms, which, if left unchecked, will ruin your marriage," says Wendy Jaffe, author of 'The Divorce Lawyers' Guide to Staying Married.' When it came to identifying these symptoms and their fixes for her marriage guidebook, Jaffe, a prominent divorce lawyer, went straight to the source. She interviewed dozens of divorcées -- who were once unsuspecting happy couples -- and supplemented their stories with expertise from 100 of the country's top family lawyers. These lawyers, like Jaffe, have made careers out of navigating the complicated combination of courtrooms and marriage, and have handled thousands of divorce cases. The insight her sources share makes her book a must-read for those looking for a savvy marriage guide.

Jaffe's goal is to help you break free from one of the most damaging relationship habits: waiting until marital problems surface, and then instead of addressing issues head on, waiting even longer in hopes the issues will resolve themselves. "Doing nothing is only an option if you do not care whether or not your marriage works," Jaffe warns readers. "The Divorce Lawyers' Guide to Staying Married" will help you address what divorced couples and divorce lawyers agree are the major symptoms that often lead to divorce. From experiencing gambling addiction and death, to drug abuse and infidelity, the guidebook covers most problems that could (and probably do) affect your marriage.

Jaffe classifies "divorce symptoms" into nine common problem areas, some of which include sex, unrealistic expectations, money, communication, and control. Jaffe asks the tough questions that will get you thinking about whether these problem areas are affecting your marriage. No need to worry if the answer to her questions is, "Yes, this does seem familiar." Like any good book on relationship issues, the guide offers various remedies and alternatives to the doomed track to divorce. Relevant studies and statistics for nearly all of the causes of divorce Jaffe cites, as well as contact information for related agencies, organizations, experts and groups, are included in the guidebook. Jaffe also provides suggestions for supplemental reading, which will be beneficial once you are able to identify areas of your relationship that could use some extra TLC.

As Jaffe says, "The grass may be different elsewhere but it will probably not be greener. There will be weeds that need to be pulled" -- and there will always be weeds. But that's what Jaffe's book -- and marriage is about -- keeping your marriage as green and as fresh as the garden it started out as. "The Divorce Lawyers' Guide to Staying Married" will help you find the weeds and the gardening tools you will need to extract them.

1. Buy 'The Divorce Lawyer's Guide...'