Understand. Remorse, as necessary as it is, doesn’t take away the pain but it does put the recovery process in motion. Only time and rebuilding of trust will do that. Understand your spouse may need time to process.
Promise change. If you can honestly say you are now committed to total financial honesty, let your spouse know in no uncertain terms that that is your plan.
Share details. Your spouse has every right to know the total and full extent of your financial indiscretions as well as your specific plans for recovery.
Offer reassurance. Even though you have decided to reform, your spouse may still be reacting for some time. This is normal and you owe it to your partner and yourself to bend over backward to prove your trustworthiness. Your first reassurance needs to be that this activity has stopped. Then understand that the rebuilding of trust takes time.
Commit yourself fully. One of the hallmarks and keys to financial harmony is mutual respect and accountability. Let your spouse know that you are 100 percent committed to this plan and program.
Consider counseling. There are times, although rare, that a spending problem signals something much deeper like addiction or serious depression. If you suspect this may be true, you should seek professional help from a qualified therapist who specializes in such disorders.
For many couples the disclosure of money secrets serve as a wake-up call that moves them to begin to address the underlying issues and barriers to authentic intimacy that exist in their marriage.
Adapted from Mary Hunt's book
Debt-Proof Your Marriage. 
