Emme and Phil Aronson, authors of 'Morning Has Broken: A Couples Journey Through Depression' was recently interviewed by AOL Book Maven Bethanne Patrick. Here are excerpts of that interview:

Bethanne Patrick: You wrote this book about a time that was difficult. I want to talk a little bit about what it is like to be in depression and what you can do to help support someone going through the depression. Phil, my first question for you is about the black car. Would you tell us what that meant in the book?

Phil Aronson: Yeah. The black car relates directly to the fact that you're born and then life happens. If you are lucky you get through it and you feel good about it, but [that] isn't often the case. I don't think anyone gets through life unscathed. I think whether it is a death in the family, depression, cancer, multiple sclerosis, or whatever, that black car is you as you go through life -- you gotta' deal and [realize] things happen.

Bethanne Patrick: How did the depression come on for you? What happened?

Phil Aronson: I wound up having some really intense burning in my lower region and I saw a number of urologists. The pain was so intense; it was so horrific. Emme and I sought out doctors. We were so concerned about finding out what was wrong that we didn't realize that the pain was driving me insane; literally driving me insane. The pain kept me up all hours of the day. I could hardly sleep. I was suffering from sleep deprivation.

Bethanne Patrick: Those two things alone can bring on depression. Pain, intense chronic pain is so often a cause of this [depressioin], but it wasn't a matter of the pain causing you blue days. You had fallen into a major clinical depression.

Phil Aronson: We are talking about a pain that triggered a depression that caused my chemicals to completely and totally go out of balance.

Bethanne Patrick: There are different kinds of depression. Talk to us about what chemical depression means, Emme.

Emme Aronson: Well, I think all of us have good days and bad days and we have to dig within our tool box -- our emotional tool box -- and try and jump out of the bad days. Clinical depression means that you can't get up to bathe yourself, you can't feed yourself, you can not drive the car, you can not drive your daughter, or even baby sit you daughter. You do not have normal conversations. You talk incessantly about death. You talk about how bad and horrible you are -- complete negative speak. This happening to my husband was an out of body experience because he is an upbeat guy, happy; he has the world in his hands and he goes for things. It was such a huge reversal from the man that I married.

Bethanne Patrick: At this point, you have come through. For many people, depression is something that keeps coming back. Is that something that worries you? Does that concerns you? Or do you feel you have the coping skills to keep it from coming back? Or is that something you can't know?

Phil Aronson: It can come back. In fact, those that have suffered depression at some point in time in their life have a forty percent (40%) chance of experiencing another bout of depression at some point.

Emme Aronson: It is not about coping skills.

Phil Aronson: There is a little bug maybe in the back of my mind that's concerned about it but I try to live each day very positively and I don't think about it. I am moving forward; I'm past that.

Bethanne Patrick: What about the people that do know their depression is chronic?

Emme Aronson: You need to go and talk to someone. Don't let your ego get in the way of getting on meds. That [antidepressants] are like a godsend.

Bethanne Patrick: That's excellent advice. Emme, you believe that you should have an advocate in therapy. What do you mean by that? What are some specifics that people should do when they are advocating for a depressed person?

Emme Aronson: When the depressed person is not able to tell you what their counseling session was about, then you know right then and there that either you have to go or a friend of the family has to go [to their appointment]. You have to write out a schedule and become highly organized. Whom ever goes should bring a notebook. Even keep a diary throughout the day as to where the moods are.

Bethanne Patrick: That is very interesting. Because you really do need to have someone to help you track that because Phil is not going to be able to do that.

Phil Aronson: Exactly.

Emme Aronson: I asked Phil in a shear moment of frustration and I said, 'Now listen to me. You are bumming around. You're not getting yourself up.' (I was very uninformed about depression so I really had no idea). I said, 'If the house was burning would you be able to get your screaming daughter upstairs out and save yourself?' He took his time and spoke very slowly and he looked at me and he goes, 'I don’t even know if I could take myself out of the house.' This was the absolute turning point in my care for him. I really let go of everything in my life to really be hands-on.

Bethanne Patrick: A defining moment.

Emme Aronson: Absolutely.

Bethanne Patrick: A very frightening moment. One of the things you talk about in care giving, Emme, [is that] you found yourself, after being the perfect care giver, getting angry.

Phil Aronson: It is understood that the victim suffers terribly but what about the care giver? What about mom? What about wives? What about siblings and children and friends? Anyone who gives care for someone who is suffering from depression, they have difficult circumstances to deal with. It’s devastating on everybody. It disturbs the very core.

Beth Anne: Exactly. That is one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. You have a wonderful section in the back of the book with different kinds of resources for people. You had a two-year-old daughter at this time, but I am sure she was still affected in many different ways. What would you suggest for parents? The number one thing to do when there is a depressed person in the house hold?

Emme Aronson: Don't hide it. Right, Phil?

Phil Aronson: Yeah.

Emme Aronson: I think you need to speak on the level of the age of the child. Obviously don't confuse them with too much information but if you hide the lingering depression, then the child might internalize it. I am a huge advocate for children and letting them know what is going on. We told Toby that Daddy had a booboo in his head and that he had doctors working to make it better.

Bethanne Patrick: What a wonderful way of bringing it too her level. A booboo for something a two-year-old can truly understand.

Phil Aronson: Yeah it is interesting because now she is four and a half and she will still ask, 'How is that booboo in your head?' And I answer, 'You know what, Toby, it's all gone.'

Bethanne Patrick: One of the reasons you have written this book and become advocates is because mental illness and depression is not something people have been open about in the past. Do you think that has changed? Or is it changing significantly? How do you think we can all help?

Phil Aronson: I think it is changing -- little by little. We wanted to let people know that there is hope. That depression is not something to be ashamed of. Would you be ashamed if you had cancer? Would you be ashamed if you had heart disease? It is a disease. It is an illness. You can't snap out of it or will it or wish it away. It is something that exists and it takes it time and you go through it and if you are lucky, you have an advocate that can help you. It is about communication.