The Art of Mingling: Learn How to Be a Party Pro

Do You Know How to Mingle Like a Pro?

The following book excerpt from Jeanne Martinet, AOL Wellness Coach and author of 'The Art of Mingling,' will test your knowledge on the dos and don'ts of navigating different social situations. How would you handle the following icebreakers?

Test Yourself: Click 'Next'

The Nice Approach

The line:

"Pardon me, you all seem like such nice people. Do you mind if I join you?"

Should you use it?
Click 'Next' to find out.

The 'Nice' Verdict

This one may seem to be a possibility but the answer is No: You can't possibly know these people are nice since you haven't talked to them yet; the comment will seem insincere. Second, it's wimpy. A wit in the group may shoot you down with "Well, you're wrong. We're a terrible lot -- you don't want to associate with us."

Clothing Talk

Opening line:

"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but noticing your beautiful dress [or suit]. I love it! Where did you get it?"

Should you use it?
Click 'Next' to find out.

The 'Clothing' Verdict

No: Remember, we are talking about an opening line. The main thing about flattery is that it's often better not to use it than to risk going overboard. It's too personal to open with this kind of remark with someone you've never met before. After you've talked to the person for a while, then you can use this line.

Accessory Speak

The line:

"Wow! Those are the most fabulous earrings!"

Should you use it?
Click 'Next' to find out.

The 'Accessory' Verdict

Yes: It's much more appropriate to comment on someone's accessories. It's a tribute to taste without being too personal. This is also a smart opening because you can follow it up by asking where the person got the earrings and, depending on her answer, you can get a good five or 10 minutes' conversation out of it.

The 'In' Crowd

The line:

"Hi," (speaking softly). Do you mind if I talk to you guys? I don't want to sound mean, but you're the only people here who seem at all interesting."

Should you use it?
Click 'Next' to find out.

The 'In' Crowd Verdict

No: Even if you aren't overheard, it's a bad idea for two reasons: The people you are addressing may be good friends of other people at the party and may therefore be insulted, and it's simply too negative a comment for most people to accept as a compliment.

The Work Approach

The line:

"Well! Do you mind if I join this illustrious circle of high-powered shakers and movers?

Should you use it?
Click 'Next' to find out.

The 'Work' Verdict

Yes AND No: If the group is made up of business peers, this is a fine, lighthearted piece of flattery. However, if the circle is of a higher professional level than you, then this is a bad idea. Such a group must be entered carefully to not draw attention to the fact that one of the lower echelon has had the audacity to join it.

Workout Lines

The line:

"Excuse me, but from the looks of you, you must really work out a lot."

Should you use it?
Click 'Next' to find out.

The 'Workout' Verdict

DEFINITELY NOT. Not only will this be taken as a blatant come-on, but it's also way too strong, too personal and too gushy. Gushing is never a good idea unless you already know the person, and even then it's iffy.

Joining the Fun Group

The line:

"Hello. I heard the laughter from across the room. Since at least one of you must be either very funny or very happy, I decided I'd come over and see if it might rub off on me."

Should you use it?
Click 'Next' to find out.

The 'Fun' Verdict

Yes: This is the kind of flattery that can work really well (assuming you are approaching a circle of people who have really been laughing). It makes people feel good without being threatening or too personal in any way, and it's believable, since you really can be drawn to people by their good energy.