The Simple Secrets of Happiness

It's Time to Get Happy

There is no one key to a satisfying and meaningful life. Rather, think of happiness as a recipe with a number of ingredients. Harvard professor and AOL Wellness Life Coach Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD., author of 'Happier,' shares the secrets to daily joy and lasting fulfillment.


More Happiness Advice

Just Say No

Committing to things we don't want to do, let alone have to do, saps happiness. Strive to understand that it's okay to say, "Thanks, but I can't work the benefit," to your PTA president. Remember, when you don't give in to guilt, you are then fully available to others without resentment or anger.

Remember the Mind-Body Connection

When you exercise and your heart begins to pound, your body releases endorphins, which leads to an increased feeling of happiness. So whether you're training for a marathon or sharing a dance, you'll sleep better, feel better and look better, too.

Buy Good Memories

Money can't buy happiness. But one thing it can do is purchase memorable experiences. Think about what would make you happier: lunches out daily or saving that cash for a night at the theater or even a family vacation in the Caribbean?

Hold On to It

Every day, find a way to appreciate three to five things that made you happy. They can be big or little: from a great meal or landing a promotion to an unexpected smile. Write it down in a journal, take photos or videos, or save mementos in a scrapbook. The key is to keep your feelings fresh.

Let It Go

It's true that negative emotions are natural. But that doesn't mean you have to carry them around. The tighter you hold onto negative feelings, the longer and harder it's going to be to let go of them in the end.

Spread Your Light

One key ingredient to happiness is social relations. When we're sharing our attentions -- opening a door for a stranger, passing out homemade cookies at the office or volunteering with the needy -- it's among the most powerful of happiness boosters.

Don't Put off Relaxing

Most people schedule their day around what they have to do. Meanwhile, the very things that give us joy are at the bottom of our to-do lists. The good news is that experiencing pleasure does not have to come at the expense of fulfilling our responsibilities. You can have both.

Seize the Day

What if I don't get promoted? What if we split up? Over-worrying about the future is another way of avoiding the Here and Now. Consequently, we fail to savor and enjoy the potential joy that is all around us. Stop and enjoy the daisies.

Accept What You Cannot Change

Traffic jams and spilled milk. Sometimes, there's nothing you can do. Strive to distinguish between things, events and people you can change, and those you have no control over. Rather than fume or argue, accept and move on.

Value Your Free Time

One common mistake people make is to fill their free time with passive hedonism. At the end of a hard day, we veg out in front of the TV, or turn to nicotine or alcohol to relax. Little wonder we're too tired to do anything stimulating or challenging. Instead, seek out hobbies or other activities you enjoy and care about.

'Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment'
by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar

Excerpted from 'Happier' by Tal Ben-Shahar, Copyright© 2007 by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD. Adapted with permission from McGraw Hill, Inc.

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